On our first date we went out for tea.
The minute we sat down, he said, “I need to tell you about myself,” and I said, “Yes?” He told me he was in a relationship, and that he has been unfaithful most of his life. He has never been single and never been able to be monogamous.
I sat with that one for a while.
He did not try to seduce me like the idiot the week before. He was very respectful. And he gave me a choice, which I appreciate.
I responded that what he has to offer is not in alignment with what I desire to create, and that I didn’t know how to proceed.
As we were sipping our tea I asked him, “What do we do now?”
He said, “I really want to spend time with you, to be in your company and get to know you.”
I said, “Hmm.”
He asked if I would go for walk with him some time. I thought about it, then said yes. So we are going for a walk at some point.
I went home and shed a tear of disappointment and sent him a text taking back something I had said in anger that felt unkind to me. And then I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning knowing that I could not date him while he was in another relationship.
We never went for a walk. I stopped by his house just to see if we could get to know each other without ending up in bed. For the first hour we did well. We sipped our tea and talked about the many things we both find interesting, and when the chemistry took over again I left.
I saw him one more time, at the place where we had originally met. We exchanged pleasantries, and both confirmed that we cannot be friends; as a matter of fact, we probably need to not be in the same space. The chemistry is too much, too strong; and being friends is a ridiculous illusion which is nothing but playing with scorching fire.
He left for Europe, to be gone for several months. I drew a breath of relief. I’m sure his girlfriend did too even if it was only on the energetic plane. I’m sure she felt the interference. We usually do, if we are honest.
Tea for two on fire. I hope I never see him again.